I’m feeling very Melancholy this
afternoon. It’s October 1st –
this month we start into our 7th year of ministry at Chinook Alliance
Church; and for me it’s one of those “bittersweet” things … We have a great body of
believers in our Church and Chinook is a small community full of wonderful
people, but ministry is a tough gig – maybe more so for the Pastor’s wives than
for the Pastor’s themselves. Or perhaps
it may be that it’s just tough for me because my temperament (personality) is not well suited
for this kind of job. Regardless, we are
here to stay and I’m learning how to deal with the rest ... “one day at a time” as they say.
There are some things, however, I really miss
and have to grieve about now and then to set my life back in order, like: Living out of town (or on the edge of
town)
and having some space for animals (particularly dogs and horses – although realistically horses are not a
luxury that we could afford anyhow); I miss being able to spend time outdoors
without being eaten alive by mosquitoes or frozen to death in our frequent below
zero winter weather; I miss having mountains and trees and clear waters nearby;
and sometimes, I miss my husband because
he is a very nice man and wants to help anyone who needs it and occasionally I feel
short-changed because of it. But then
again, I wouldn’t change that about him because it’s part of who is he is (how GOD made him) and why he’s a really
good Pastor (husband, son, brother, friend, neighbor, etc.). Nap time …
I’m back … I tried napping – of which I was
doing a lot of this morning – but my stuffiness is causing too much pressure on
my sinuses to sleep so here I am again. Lucky you! I’m feeling a little overwhelmed right now and
a little panicky with all my responsibilities looming ahead of me for this
weekend (Pat’s
– Dennis’ Mom’s – 80th Birthday happenings) and not feeling well
enough to hardly get anything done. Not
to mention my time clock is ticking for my training regimen (as if 9 months isn’t
enough time)
but it might not be for me!
Speaking of training, do you have any idea
how painful it is for us “bigger busted” gals to do physical activities, particularly running? My girls weigh about 5 pounds each and
although I have a great bra (Enell)
to work out in, things still move around, a lot. I often long for the days when I was in High
School and frequently got teased about being a member of the IBTC (for those of you not
in the know: that’s “itty bitty titty committee”). I mean really … clothes don’t fit or look right
– I have to buy shirts several sizes too big just to get something that will
fit over my boobies; they cause shoulder, back, and collar bone pains daily;
they either hang low without a bra or are stuffed up under my chin with one. Please forgive me for ranting if you’re
someone who has suffered from breast cancer and you would do anything to have
them back – I want mine gone, but not at that kind of expense. Enough said about that anyway.
I love reading, maybe more than any other
single activity in the world. You can go
anywhere and do anything in a story, and most of our education happens through
books. Many of my life lessons come from
those who’ve written something that moved me to change. And some of the books I’m reading right now
are guiding and shaping who I will become in the future … books on nutrition
and health, books on running, books on emotional health and spiritual maturity,
and books about who I am and how GOD made me.
Stories are wonderful for capturing our attention and helping us
remember something about the lessons to be learned – and there are always
lessons to be learned!
My brother, Bud (one year younger than myself, works for Boeing, lives
in South Carolina),
sent me a book recently called “Ordinary Wolves” by Seth Kantner.
I’m about a quarter of the way through it. I was having trouble getting into the story
at first, but now I’m being haunted by its images. Our own upbringing – while not in the wilds
of Alaska, but of Montana – is very similar in some aspects. I suspect I will be changed by this story before
I am finished. For years (well really, for most
of my life)
I’ve been in the process of writing one book or another. Most never finished, and long since forgotten;
but currently, I’m in the process of writing one called “Painting in the Dark”. About how our lives unfold without us seeming
to be part of the story – like life happens to us and then all of the sudden we
see the final result; as if we had no role in how it turned out. Not really sure how to explain it at this
point; and really I guess, I don’t need to.
It will either be written or it won’t and it will get published or not –
probably not. ;)
I can’t believe that I’m still rambling on …
or maybe I can’t believe that you’re still reading this – and if you are, who
are you? I know I have a few followers
out there: Dennis, Bud, Linsey;
supporting and encouraging me to press on.
Hey, thanks for hanging out with me a little bit this afternoon. Off to bed I go, again. Let me sign off with this.
“Therefore, since we
are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us
strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily
trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race GOD has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on JESUS, the Champion who
initiates and perfects our faith. Because
of the joy awaiting HIM, HE endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now HE
is seated in the place of honor beside GOD’s throne. Think of all the hostility HE endured from
sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up.” Hebrews 12:1 NLT
Lori <><
Sharing life ... sharing Christ
